skm + bnm + hsm = love

our days

Time is going by so fast.

On the radio, they were talking about a year ago being the day that we got dumped on from about 20 inches of snow.

I was on my way to work when I heard that and it stopped my racing thoughts.

Its been a year since that day?

Wow. 

Life is going by SO fast.

Instead we have warmer than usual temps in this part of the country and the kids are convinced that it might be Spring coming early.

Except we haven't had Winter yet!

Even the buds from all my tulips and crocuses have peeked their little heads out. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Our days have taken a new path.

The path looks a little different than in the past. 

I spend my days trying to console the emotions and anxiety of the changes that are taking place.

And the changes that will happen soon enough.

But change is inevitable in a kids life right?

That's what I keep telling myself.

I try to keep as many things as possible consistent to help ease their emotions the best I can.

I guess this is just the beginning of when all of those parenting books used to tell you "you can't protect them from everything". 

So I am going to ask for prayer tonight.

Prayer for the healing of little hearts.

(An extra Iphone picture because no post about the kids is complete without a picture ;)  ) 

 

held

this is what it means to be held

how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

and you survive.

 

brave

Off to the mall we went that day.

And it just so happened that we ran into Kate and her kids as well.  This was perfect because that made it so I could take some pictures and she could video it.

Most of you have seen the video on facebook, and thats a good thing.  Because we can't figure out how to get it anywhere else for me to put onto this blog!

But I DO have pictures :)

Random Iphone Monday

The current favorite after school snack.  YUM!

It's been COLD in these parts!

her lobes. (part one)

Haley didn't notice it.

But on Christmas morning, I had held back one of her gifts.

It was her smallest in size but by far the biggest in significance.

So after the kids got back from a week with their dad, I thought it would be the perfect time to present her with her gift.

(Ben was in on it and knew what it was)

Her expressions say it all don't they?

So she knew she got a pair of silver dolphin (her obsession) earrings...but then she read the top of the box.

Ben helped out a bit...

She was one very happy and excited girl.

Christmas morning.

This is the official Christmas morning picture of the tree...

It was just after midnight and I had gotten the kids presents arranged just so. 

It was still.

Only for a few hours...when the kids would wake up and eagerly want to get at those gifts.

Remember when you were little and your parents would take their good sweet time preparing everything on Christmas morning while you waited impatietnly to get the goods? 

(Oh wait...was that only my parents?)

Well I have to say...it was a little fun having a little fun with Ben and Hay this year. 

They waited...growing more impatient as the minutes went by. 

And then they were off...

Love their expressions :)

And I can't really believe that I am going to put this next picture on a public blog...but I always said I am trying to keep it real!

Yes...that  is our "right out of bed" look ;)

Random IPhone Monday

Best invention ever.

Christmas in the City (revisited)

Ok people.

You have let me down a bit.

And I know I have let you down in the last few months by not posting as much...but I am TRYING to change that!

I know you are out there...so I am not worried that you left me.

So either you are too busy or too lazy to respond.

And I am getting to impatient not posting.

______________________________________________________________________

 I will begin with December 23.

I had wanted to take the kids downtown to see all the Christmas awesomeness and then heard that my brother (the one from Texas) was also thinking about going downtown.

It became a plan.

Here we are at our meeting place.

We then took off for the German market (also a previous tradition)

We enjoyed German chocolate (my favorite being the chocolate covered rice krispie treat) and walked all around the city absorbing Christmas in the best city in the world.

We even stopped in a Dunkin Donuts to warm up with some hot chocolate.

The kids had so much fun being with their cousin Jake who they don't see all that often and they were even more excited because Jake was coming for a sleepover!

I took all the kids home with me and we had lots more fun stuff planned.

We made a ginger bread house, watched Christmas movies and ate Jake's favorite (popcorn!)

The time came to go to bed and after just a few minutes of giggling and talking...all fell quiet (we wore them out!!)

The next morning, Jake-a-roo got to participate in our stocking tradition too!

All three kids enjoyed the time spent together and I have to admit that having three instead of three kids really isn't that hard ;) 

I kind of wanted to keep him.

Big word comment or else!

{insert crickets chirping here.}

I know you are all out there.

I have three posts ready to be written...but you must come out of your lurking shells...at least once a year!!

this one.

Yesterday, as I was picking out the picture of our word...I found this one.

Don't ask me why.

It's super blurry.

It is one that any "normal" person might have deleted.

But I love it.

one BIG word. 2012

In the past we have been calling it "one little word".  Although as I went to type the title to this post, I just automatically typed BIG instead of small.

Hmmmm.

I think that the past few years we have all participated in the one little word campaign, I (and maybe you too) have come to realize that those words...really aren't that little.

They are big.  They are sometimes bold.

They can be intimidating.

They most surely can be hard. 

Nothing about my words each year ended up being "little".

So I have changed it to "one BIG word" this year.

I hope you still love me ;)

_______________________________________________________________________

So...the last post told you all that I almost didn't even come up with a "one little BIG word" this year.

But when my mind never seems to stop...well...lets just that this time...something good came out of all that thinking!

I asked Ben and Haley if they would get in the picture with my word...they were happy to oblige.

Heck...even Bear decided he would participate!

I chose the picture I did...because it was just US. No phony smile...no cheesy grins.

Just US. 

Right where we are right now.  (Yes...Bear REALLY needs a haircut)

I am not going to say too much about my word.

I think it speaks for itself for the most part.

I will end with a quote though...one that I think sums it up just perfectly.

"When you make room for the possibility, the possibilties are endless". (Linda Riggs)

Lately I have been checking my stats again and I have noticed that there are A LOT of places that are coming here and have not commented!  Places from across the globe that I have never been too and I don't know anyone from...so DON'T BE SHY :)

And the rest of you...I can't wait to hear what you BIG words are this year.

GO!

(Make sure to leave your words on this post so that I can keep track of them :)  )

Start thinking

I wasn't going to do one little word this year because I couldn't think if just the right one for me this year. Alas... It came to me at about 3am just a few days before Christmas.

So start thinking folks...:)

love this series.

laughs while cutting down the tree.

The video I promised :)

 

the hunt.

Last year the weather was FREEZING.

I mean MISERABLE freezing.  Getting the tree was an experience that went as quickly as we could go while our numb fingers tried to stay warm in our mittens.

This year...was the EXACT opposite.

The weather was beautiful.

The company was awesome.

And we could take our good, sweet time picking out the perfect tree for us.

The tradition that we have continued in our family is to go get our tree the day after Thanksgiving.

The temperatures were in the sixties this year!

(  that is the last picture you will see of Aunt Corinne...she instead acted as our photographer...so i could actually be IN the pictures this time!)

This year, Ben being the boy of the house had the job of cutting down the tree. 

First though, he had to access the job that was ahead of him...

And then he threw himself into the job :)

Every once in a while, he would get really tired and ask me to take over but he never wanted me to do it for more than about 30 seconds. 

He took the job very seriously...and I love that about him.

Haley-Baley had an important job too.

She had to be on her toes to catch the tree when it fell...

Here she proved to me that she was just the right woman for the job...

She also decided that her job was to keep my backside clean too :)

We had no where to go and more than enough patience to let Ben take his time to get that tree cut down (it took about 30 minutes) :)

Well...everyone was patient but NOT Haley.

Slowly but surely... he was using his big muscles to get that tree cut down.

It was finally time for Hay to do HER important job!

He had done it!

She had done it!

It was a wonderful day filled with experiences that were new to us even though we were doing something that we had done many times before.

Thankful.

 

 

RandoMonday iPhone

Just a few minutes after the stroke of midnight Christmas morn.

So still.

Simply beautiful.

Peace

Merry Christmas to You and Yours from Me and Mine :)

the 10 days of Christmas

(Let me preface this post by saying that I had EVERY intention of actually going through with my words and posting all week.  However, I have learned STUFF happens.  My card reader broke this week (you know the one that gets all the pictures off of the camera and onto my computer?) and I had to FORCE myself to step foot inside of a Best Buy just a few days before Christmas.)

So...we have the 10 days of Christmas surprises in the stockings.

The kids have loved this tradition and every year I am more sure that I love it too.  I never know whether its going to be the "12 days of Christmas" or the "8 days of Christmas".  It all depends on how many things I find that are perfect for them.

This year is was the "10 days of Christmas".

I will just show you a montage of the pictures...the kids are not always thrilled that I say "WAIT let me get the camera" before they dig their little hands in each morning. 

Alas...they will be happy to have pictures of themselves and this tradition one day.

At least thats what I tell them ;)

Its busy...and I don't really have the time to edit these pictures...enjoy anyway!

This last set made me laugh...Benjamin is really not a morning person.  And he was humoring me most of the time by giving me a cheesy smile.  Here is the cheesy smile...

Then I said "Come on Ben...can't you give me a good natural "I'm so happy smile?"

Here is what I got...

AND

Random iPhone Monday

Since my dad is going to be in the rehab hospital for Christmas, the kids and I decided that he needed an (overly) decorated tree!

something fierce.

Both Ben and Haley picked out their own costumes this year (we are past the days where I have anything to say about them).  Haleys was harder to find (and we ended up going the internet route) and I am convinced that Ben picks out his costume solely based on whether he can wear it around the house in the coming months.

Aren't they fierce?

This year we got to celebrate Halloween a few times because of the way it fell over a weekend.  On Friday we did the Trunks of Treats at our church.  We decorated our car all up and gave out candy to HUNDREDS of local children.  The kids LOVE this!

Then we got to also trick or treat around the neighborhood too!

 
Can't forget to show you our pumpkins this year...

my poor, poor neglected blog.

Goodness gracious.  Its been nearly two weeks since I have blogged.  How in the world did that happen?

The busy-ness of the season is upon us.  In reality, I can't remember a Christmas time that has been as crazy busy as this one has.

I usually take the month of December off from photography (because Aug-Nov is CRAZY time) but this December I ended up doing three shoots. 

None of them were for Christmas cards...but all were either close friends that I was not going to say no to or past clients that had babies!! 

So here I am...with lots of things to write about and no idea where to even start.

Coming up on the blog will be our 10 days of Christmas stocking pictures...day one was today and I have to say that each year it gets even more fun than the last when it comes to the stockings.

It has become one of our favorite Christmas traditions!

But before we go that route...I still have to show you Halloween.

Wow...that last sentence was a bit sad.  Its December and I never showed you Halloween?

So tomorrow come back prepared to be spooked out by the costumes of our Halloween :)

time. (and how I want to slow it down)

2007

2011

Random iphone Monday/Santa in the bathtub.

hope

Saw this wall hanging at a little shop in Shipshawna a few weekends ago.

For now, it's enough for me to HOPE that there are still men out there like this.

Hey I can dream right? ;)

Fall Shoot 2011

I had almost forgotten about the fact that I usually like to get the kids out in the Fall time to grab a shoot of them together. 

We were watching the Bears game and I realized what a beautiful day it was and quickly got some outfits together and as soon as the clock said there weren't any more seconds in the game... we were off.

I love that when I get home, and I take a look at the shots I got...that I can truly see how much they love each other.

There are times that I need to be reminded of that.

When I am shooting them...I don't notice all the details like that.

But when I stare at the screen...I am in love. 

With them...

This is the life.

Santa...we know what he is gonna want.

The kids are growing faster than I can slow them down and one thing that seems to increase that growing (at least in my eyes) is when they lose their front teeth.

Haley has yet to lose any teeth (although I think she is close to possibly knocking out one of them JUST so she can say she lost one) but Benjamin lost two teeth within about one week!

First it was his right front tooth.  That sucker hung on until I was actually afraid he might swallow/choke on it.  So we coaxed that one out.

For the second one Ben was determined to let it hang there until it came falling out.  He could literally twist it all the way around and it still wouldn't come out!

Finally that second one came out and now we have a little man who really needs his two front teeth for Christmas ;)

Here he is after the tooth fairy came for the first front tooth he lost...

P.S. Now $5 bucks is an unusually large amount for the tooth fairy to be giving.  But in her defense, I knew that the tooth fairy most likely would not be gracing Benjamin with her presence again.  He is totally aware that she isn't real and is getting a tad bit old for the tooth fairy. (In Bens defense, he didn't begin losing his teeth until he was already 7 so he kind of got a bit jipped.  Looks like Haley is going to get jipped too)

RandoMonday

In the morning before school, brushing through Haleys hair is often a source of frustration. On this particular morning, Haley was making all sorts of reasons of why she couldn't brush it. I said " Do you want me to do it instead"? She replied "no..I want Ben to do it". Ben looked like a deer caught in the headlights but he stopped what he was doing and gave it a try. After a few minutes of trying to get through her hair, Ben handed me the brush and stated how happy he was that he doesn't have long hair.

Smart kid.

RandoMonday IPhone

Watching my highschool football team playoff game. They were undefeated and in round 2 of the playoffs.

They lost :(

what we did with all them apples.

$33.00 worth of apples.

We had a lot of work ahead of us!

We gathered all the necessary supplies...

We prewashed all the apples...

And we made sure all the pie dishes were nice and sparkly clean...

And we began the long process of baking 8 pies!

The first one out of the oven got to be the one that they feasted on. :)

One pie went to the local fire department (they were visiting the school I work for) and another went to the teachers at my school.  

That leaves 5 dutch apple pies that are in the freezer for later delight.

And yes...there were still TONS of apples left.

The next day I took the rest of the apples and made gobs of  applesauce. 

Ben LOVES the applesauce and its the only kind he will eat now.

Haley decided she didn't like it...she only likes the prepackaged stuff.

Go figure.

lots (and lots) of apples.

In early October we happened to be blessed with a bit of an Indian Summer.  We had some 70 degree days and around here that makes everyone VERY giddy. (well at least me anyway)

So we set off for a local apple orchard and brought some good friends along as well.

While Ben and Haley were picking some apples, I stole away each of the other little kiddos for a little mini shoot. 

Although this sounds like a fab idea...I soon realized that meant that I wasn't paying attention to exactly how many apples they were picking off the trees.

Somehow the looks on their faces when I told them we would have to leave some behind...was convincing to me that we HAD to take them home. 

Thats right folks...$33.00 worth of apples.

Because of the work of these too cute little beasts...

So we decided that the following Saturday would be "baking/cooking apples day".  That post to come ;)

The most important thing is that the kids had a blast!  They enjoyed the weather, being with good friends and an apple or two along the way.

RandoMonday

               Hayriding it and pumpkining it with friends!

rewind #5

Yes...I am  still working on doing rewinds.  ;)

For Haleys 6th birthday party this year, we got quite lucky.  My good friend (Kate) and also Haleys good friend (Audrey) had already planned Audreys party.  Haley and Audrey are only 5 days apart in age and they have most of the same friends.  Kate asked me if we just want to come along and Haley could invite one super duper special friend and then also have all her friends there that are also friends with Audrey.

Did you get all that?  Confusing I know :)

Point being we had a combined party at the Chicago American Girl Doll Store.

Haley invited her special friend Chloe...

She and Audrey opened presents first at the house...

Then we all gathered outside before we headed down to the City...

See that doll Haley is holding?  That is her American Girl LIKE doll.  Its not a real one. 

It has done us just fine because who can really tell the difference anyway right?

Well then Haley had to go and model for American Girl and see that there really IS a difference.

She didn't know it yet here...but by the end of the day she was going to get her very own American Girl Doll. :)

So on with the day...we finally arrived at the long awaited destination...

We did some looking around first.

And soon we were due to get to our lunch reservation...

Our name was called and all the girls AND their dolls were ready for some refreshments.

And even Haley was using her BEST manners...

We ate like queens and then it was birthday cake time.

Then it was time to let Haley know that a few of her family (Uncle Scott and Aunt Phoebe) and some friends as well all bought her American Girl Doll gift cards for her birthday so that she could pick out her very own one! 

She chose a Bitty Twin that had dark hair just like hers along with a front carrier.

This brand new 6 year old was SUPER happy with her purchase!  :)

Haley had a blast and that was all thanks to Audrey sharing her party! 

RandoMonday

Remember those RandoMonday pictures I used to post with a different old photo every week?

During my run yesterday, I was thinking about how to continue those but change it up a bit.

So now...RandoMonday posts will be random IPhone pics that I take throughout the week.

And I promise they will be completly random. 

Its so much more fun that way :)

At 8 and half years old, he knows more about football than most grown men.  He lives for game days and I LOVE that about him.

I am interrupting this interruption

It has been awhile since I have been here.

Life is just being lived.

And sometimes I am away because of being overtired and over stressed.

This break however is NOT because of any of those things.

Just living my new life and simply enjoying the everyday of it.

Ill be back soon...I promise.

I have so much to share!

even when I'm mad.

This last week was a rough one with my little Haley Baley. 

She had reached an all time high of being very disrespectful and bratty.

My patience tank was on empty and I had finally had enough.

We had it out.  Me and her. 

It wasn't pretty.

But ever since then, she has changed her behavior quite considerably. 

Then a few days ago she presented me with this...

 

Love that girl to pieces.

 

made me cry.

Our church is starting a new Sermon Series called "The Hole in Our Gospel".  The book by the same name is am AMAZING book (that EVERYONE should read) and I thought I would share the video that was made for it.

Remember that "human shield" I talked about last week?  The women who surround me that have walked through the fire with me?  One of those women...the one who has seen me at my worst got the chance to go to Rwanda Africa in March.  You will see Karla throughout the video but she is also the one at the very end who is hugging  her sponsored World Vision Child.

Get a kleenex people. 

You are going to need it.

 

I Saw What I Saw from Faith Church on Vimeo.

made you laugh.

Driving along down the road...

Haley: "Mom, when you were little, what color was your room painted?"

Me: {Thinking}

Ben: "Haley they didn't even have paint back then."

Seriously??

malice.

How does someone just move on?

When a complete stranger comes into your life in such a subtle way and decides they want what you have.

Something that doesn't belong to them.

How do you look at it and try and make sense out of what has happened?

When someone can rob you of the life that YOU built for 16 years.  They can take it away in 16 days.

These women who destroy families...  they do it with clear intention and with no conscience.

They simply don't care. 

What they lack in kindness they make up for in selfishness.

___________________________________________________________________________

I don't have the answers.  I pray every day to be able to make sense out of a something that will NEVER make sense to me.  To have it laid out so clear, just so that for a moment...I can understand it. 

So I find joy in the little things.  Sheer happiness in things that I never would have noticed before. 

I put one foot in front of the other and decide to make a new and so much better life. 

I decide that not everyone in this world has the malice and selfishness that some people possess.

And it's working.

There is light at the end of this tunnel.

______________________________________________________________________

I know that I will be 85 years old and still trying to forget the pain that this has all inflicted.

But I'm supposed to love my enemies.

It will be the hardest thing I will ever attempt to do.

rewind #4 | day 2 of date day with ben

We went to bed that night and woke up the next morning with lots of energy!

We hung out a bit, finished the legos and I made up sausage biscuits for breakfast.

Then we headed out to do something Ben (and I) have never done before...

 

We went to hit some balls at the local driving range just by our house!

Ben was frustrated at first but soon got the hang of it...

 

Before we both knew it we had hit an entire bucket of balls.  Ben decided he wants to stick with mini golf instead because "I'm SO much better at that Mom".

He was also quite irritated that this ball came SO CLOSE to going in.  It would have been a whole in one!  He thought blowing on it might help...

 

Have I told you that Ben doesn't lose very well?  We are working on that.  And I DON'T play easy on him either ;)

 

We finished up 18 mini golf holes and headed to eat lunch at BW3's.  As you know it's Ben's favorite restaurant (as of late) and he was very happy to be there...and yes we played lots of trivia!

 

Then we had to wrap up our date day and I drove Ben back to his dads house. 

So if its possible...I fell more in love with Ben after that day.  He knows just the right thing to say at the right time.  He is EXTREMELY intuitive and knows exactly what is going on without me ever having to tell him anything.  He is smart.  In fact me may just be smarter than this mama.

But most of all...he is so insanely loved.

rewind #3 | ben date day.

Is it possible to fall more in love with your kids?

Just when you think that you love them so incredibly much...you see something new in them.

And then you fall even more in love.

Just like Haleys date day...I had been planning this one for about a month or so. 

Trying to keep it within my budget but still doing things that we don't normally do.

We had just gotten home from a week in Michigan and we got the next 24 hours to pack everything in.

We woke up on a Sunday morning and worked on a new Lego set that Ben had been wanting to put together.

 

Then we got dressed and headed down to the City.  Ben knew we were heading that direction but he knew NOTHING about the day.

We found parking and walked to a hotel.  The hotel was housing Uncle Scott, Aunt Phoebe and Jake!  They were taking the next three days after our Michigan vacation to explore and show Jake the city.  Here is the view from their hotel room...

 


We then set off for a mystery place and somewhere Ben had put on his Bucket List that we made at the beginning of the Summer.

Can you guess?

 

 

Ben had so much fun pointing out things he saw...

 

 

Anyone guess?  No...not the Sears/Willis Tower.  The John Hancock Building!

 

They have this little booth you can go into to pretend like you are a window washer...

 

We then made our way down to ground level again and Ben and I split up from the group for a bit.

Ben still didn't know our next plans...

 

A Chicago Cubs Game!!

 

Sooo enjoyed sitting back and enjoying an awesome day at the ballpark with my favorite boy in the world.

 

 

 

LOVE those hot dogs at the ballpark!

Unfortunately the Cubs lost...and so Ben and I decided we would leave just a tad before the crowd rush so that we could stop by 7 eleven and get a slurpee...

 

We made it on the El headed back to Uncle Scott and the group before the rush came!

It was about time for dinner by this time so we headed to The Cheesecake Factory and Ben got a HUGE plate of pasta...

 

Ben sat in silence for a bit on the way home and then said "Mom..its really hard to say goodbye to them" as we were driving home from the City that evening.

(Part 2 of the Ben date coming tomorrow)